I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
