Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
