What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
