How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
