I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
