The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
