Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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