You work out of a Hotel?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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