He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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