he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
