new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
