Only a mothe r could love this liver
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
