oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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