we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
