Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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