Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I party with great urgency now.
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