I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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