Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
