omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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