Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
