I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
did i walk over a car last night?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
