I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
