you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
