i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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