How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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