I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
