pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
