omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
