My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
