Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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