Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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