its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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