YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
