Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I will be naked everywhere
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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