I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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