I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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