Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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