If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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