So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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