the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize