I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
