scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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