On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
