so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
