think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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