it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
