Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
