Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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