white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
How's work?
Spinning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
