hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
