there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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