he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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