i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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