nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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