I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
