Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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