Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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