smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
wow bdsm is so cute
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
