this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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