my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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