My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
